The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part II
The fact that this film means we won’t have to suffer through any more awful Twilight movies almost makes us want to move it to the “Best” column. Almost… but not quite.
Taylor Lautner: Leave the Shirt Off
We were among the few people that bothered to see Abduction, which confirmed what we long suspected: your abs are more expressive than your face. Going forward, look around for jobs that require as little outerwear as possible… you know, lifeguard, Hollister Co. greeter and Magic Mike impersonator.
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Werewolves hate shirts. Hate them. They rip them to tatters to get them off and generally just walk around with their insane body temperatures. Not that we’re complaining, necessarily. We will be sad to no longer see the rippling ab muscles that were constantly on display. They were far better than the pasty skin of this franchise’s bloodsuckers.
Best: Twilight, Somehow
We never thought that the Breaking Dawn - Part 2 trailer would be the highlight of anything, but watching a movie preview felt like a nice break from the epilepsy-inducing lights of the rest of the show. And since Kristen Stewart didn’t show up, there was minimal drama. What more could we ask for?
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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part II (November 16)
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Directed by: Bill Condon
The Rundown: At long, long last the saga arrives at its final chapter as the fate of Bella and Edward’s baby is decided and the Volturi make their last move. Also, Jacob forces the kid to be his soul mate, because he’s creepy like that.
Thrill Factor: Whatever thrill this series once possessed has long since worn off, but rest assured we’ll see this one just so we can spot the exact moment that KStew realized she wasn’t in love with RPatz anymore.
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