District Homeland
Tributes: Chris Brody, Dana Brody
Special Skills: Nick Brody would have the brains to train his kids in his deadly combat skills, and school them in the comforts of Islamic prayer. Meanwhile, his son has basic Boy Scout abilities, while Dana has remarkable Spidey senses.
Sponsor Gifts: Abu Nazir would donate all sorts of weapons of mass destruction to his pal’s children, via diplomats, terrorists-in-training and poor homeless saps.
Forecasted Gameplay: As long as Carrie doesn’t muck things up, this duo could actually be pretty good in the Games. Dana would probably do slightly better than her little brother, though, especially if the Capitol sends down any dead deer to divert him.
Read more: Hunger Games: The TV Teen Edition
District Pretty Little Liars
Tributes: Caleb Rivers, Emily Fields
Special Skills: He’s a computer hacker, a talent that must come in handy beyond just trying to track down an anonymous psychopath. Meanwhile, she’s a champion swimmer.
Sponsor Gifts: Caleb would receive spy cameras from the NAT club. As for Emily, Aria would send her all sorts of crazy accessories to serve as her Mockingjay pin equivalent, while Hanna would get her pasta boxes filled with money to use for bribes.
Forecasted Gameplay: Sadly, despite their best efforts, you know A would find a way to horribly ruin Caleb and Emily’s chances of winning this thing. Exploding cell phones, maybe?
Read more: Hunger Games: The TV Teen Edition
District Secret Life of the American Teenager
Tributes: Ricky Underwood, Amy Juergens
Special Skills: N/A
Sponsor Gifts: N/A
Forecasted Gameplay: There’s no use even considering how these two will fare in the Games, as Amy will immediately get impregnated within ten seconds of entering the arena, and she and her fiancĂ© will die on their starting plate as they keel over in tears.
Read more: Hunger Games: The TV Teen Edition
District Modern Family
Tributes: Manny Delgado, Haley Dunphy
Special Skills: Manny’s got the brains of a 50-year-old poet, which may fool his fellow Tributes into thinking that he’s fragile. Haley’s got her competitors beat in the looks department. Lucky for them, Jay will have trained them both in scavenging for food and camouflage before they leave California.
Sponsor Gifts: Mistaking “weapons” for “lemons,” Gloria accidentally orders Manny several crates of the citrus fruit from Colombia. Phil, meanwhile, drops down some intense power-walking gear for his daughter.
Forecasted Gameplay: Although Manny is a moving target for masculinity-obsessed Careers, he’ll become a Rue to another player’s Katniss… but in the end, it won’t be enough. Haley, meanwhile, is too gorgeous and dumb for anyone to consider her a threat, and there’s a chance that the inner Claire in her will come out to wreak havoc. As long as she doesn’t accidentally eat something obviously poisonous, she might be all right.
Read more: Hunger Games: The TV Teen Edition