The Official Television Without Pity Tumblr
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Halloween is five and a half weeks away, FYI.

Halloween is five and a half weeks away, FYI.

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Amber - Her fake zebra-print nails and fake eyelashes that are so heavy, they often completely mask Amber’s entire eyeball.  - The amount of time she breaks up with Gary in any given episode while driving and shouting into cell phone. - Her laid back personality and unyielding tranquility that she learned to channel after her time spent in therapy.
Read more: Teen Mom: What We Will Miss About the Cast

Amber
- Her fake zebra-print nails and fake eyelashes that are so heavy, they often completely mask Amber’s entire eyeball.
- The amount of time she breaks up with Gary in any given episode while driving and shouting into cell phone.
- Her laid back personality and unyielding tranquility that she learned to channel after her time spent in therapy.

Read more: Teen Mom: What We Will Miss About the Cast

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Farrah - Her advice to grown women about their fertility, and her expectation that their sons will want to marry her after five minutes of dating. - Her irritating refusal to call her father anything but “Michael,” and then never thank him for constantly helping her out in every way. - Her failed hair model career, and the many more Craigslist scams she’ll eventually fall for that we’ll never see. - The new puppies she buys and gives away every few months.
Read more: Teen Mom: What We’ll Miss About the Cast

Farrah
- Her advice to grown women about their fertility, and her expectation that their sons will want to marry her after five minutes of dating.
- Her irritating refusal to call her father anything but “Michael,” and then never thank him for constantly helping her out in every way.
- Her failed hair model career, and the many more Craigslist scams she’ll eventually fall for that we’ll never see.
- The new puppies she buys and gives away every few months.

Read more: Teen Mom: What We’ll Miss About the Cast

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Tyler - The countless number of tween girls who contact him on Twitter every week telling him to dump Catelynn and date them, despite how paradoxical that concept is. - His hourly, albeit true, reminders that is was clearly the best idea in the world that they put Carly up for adoption.  - His and Catelynn’s baffling lack of comprehension of how education and jobs work, bless their hearts.
Read more: Teen Mom: What We’ll Miss About the Cast

Tyler
- The countless number of tween girls who contact him on Twitter every week telling him to dump Catelynn and date them, despite how paradoxical that concept is.
- His hourly, albeit true, reminders that is was clearly the best idea in the world that they put Carly up for adoption.
- His and Catelynn’s baffling lack of comprehension of how education and jobs work, bless their hearts.

Read more: Teen Mom: What We’ll Miss About the Cast

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Maci (Teen Mom) She put her three-year-old in the middle of her relationship with his father, in the worst way possible. She made Bentley call Ryan and invite him to his birthday, after both parents agreed to do separate parties, and then made Ryan look like the bad guy for not coming. Don’t use your kid like that. Unless you’ve got the cash for therapy down the road
Read more: The Most Heinous Person on Reality TV This Week

Maci (Teen Mom)
She put her three-year-old in the middle of her relationship with his father, in the worst way possible. She made Bentley call Ryan and invite him to his birthday, after both parents agreed to do separate parties, and then made Ryan look like the bad guy for not coming. Don’t use your kid like that. Unless you’ve got the cash for therapy down the road

Read more: The Most Heinous Person on Reality TV This Week

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Butch (Teen Mom)
For the first time, we’re putting someone who didn’t even appear on the latest episode of their show on the list, because he really deserved it. He violated his parole by going to see his wife, and then proceeded to put her head through some drywall before choking her with a bath towel. And he sent his son a text message saying that he loved cocaine more than he loved him.

Read more: The Most Heinous Person on Reality TV This Week

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tvbooger:

I love when I pause things at just the right time.

Also: “You have no religion because you are a satanic psycho bitch.”

tvbooger:

I love when I pause things at just the right time.

Also: “You have no religion because you are a satanic psycho bitch.”

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Farrah, Debra, Michael and Sophia Farrah giving her daughter the five-cent tour of her sexcapades with Derek (whose grave we visited later, in case it’s not already impossibly easy to make me cry) was pretty perfectly in character, as opposed to Farrah actually making a good decision in taking Sophia with her to Florida after all. Debra is clearly the most overbearing parent on MTV, and so watching Sophia slam on piano keys (unbeknownst to her how awesomely dramatic it seemed on camera) and tell her grandma that she won’t miss her was awesome. I still can’t believe Farrah’s dad Michael agreed to make the five-day drive down to Fort Lauderdale alone with all of her crap in tow. And Debra bitterly drinking the Farrah wine easily the best part of the episode. I have never felt so bad for a waiter in my life.
Read more: Teen Mom: The Best Moments from the Season 4 Premiere

Farrah, Debra, Michael and Sophia
Farrah giving her daughter the five-cent tour of her sexcapades with Derek (whose grave we visited later, in case it’s not already impossibly easy to make me cry) was pretty perfectly in character, as opposed to Farrah actually making a good decision in taking Sophia with her to Florida after all. Debra is clearly the most overbearing parent on MTV, and so watching Sophia slam on piano keys (unbeknownst to her how awesomely dramatic it seemed on camera) and tell her grandma that she won’t miss her was awesome. I still can’t believe Farrah’s dad Michael agreed to make the five-day drive down to Fort Lauderdale alone with all of her crap in tow. And Debra bitterly drinking the Farrah wine easily the best part of the episode. I have never felt so bad for a waiter in my life.

Read more: Teen Mom: The Best Moments from the Season 4 Premiere