Nolan and Emily || 3x02
- I brought you into this because I thought you loved my father.
- I do love him. And I love his daughter, and I want to protect her.
Emily may be a total nightmare person right now, but we were almost completely distracted by Nolan making blueberry muffins.
Keep Neutering Nolan
You can tell Revenge has hit the skids when even its go-to scene stealer, Nolan Ross, couldn’t steal a pack of gum anymore. Part of the problem is that the writers have sanded away the character’s edginess, giving him a boring (and female) love interest, ripping his company away and, in general, leaving him behind the eight ball instead of in front of it. A neutered Nolan is a no-fun Nolan.
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Revenge 2-13 “Union” Recaplet
The time has finally come for Jack and Amily to become man and stripper, and nothing is going to stand in the way of that day being perfect — not even Emanda finding out that they’ve made a deal with the Conrad devil.
1. Boba Fett on Revenge
The hell with Takeda’s methods. What Emily really needs is her own bounty hunter (we’re sure Nolan could help fund this) to really take care of business. Boba Fett is clearly the right person for the job, as he’ll actually help her get answers, unlike useless Aiden. Just don’t forget to pay him or ask him about his dad.
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"She’s rushed to the ER, but if Lydia can fall from a rooftop onto a car and survive, you better believe a pregnant woman can fall 20 feet onto a tile floor, cracking her skull, and simply end up in a coma. " - Pablo Gon Revenge
Read our full review.
Revenge - SEASON 2, EPISODE 4 - INTUITION
Jack and Declan Porter, Revenge
Grounds for Firing: It’s understandable that the Porter boys would want to hang onto their dad’s Hamptons-located bar, The Stowaway. Nobody wants to be the one to let a family business go under. But let’s face it: they’ve done a terrible job running it so far, from bad hiring decisions to using it as a hiding place for ill-gotten gains. At this point, we wouldn’t trust these two to keep the bar’s roof from caving in, let alone serve us drinks.
Hired As: Sailing instructors. Jack in particular prefers being out on the water anyway, so instead of trying to get rid of his boat, he should use it as his place of business. This is the Hamptons after all — there’s always a steady stream of preppy A-holes that need sailing tips.
Read more: TV Characters Who Need a Career Change