Objectively, I think that Scarlett has the best voice of the female leads, but this is not her jam. It’s like Bieber singing “Folsom Prison Blues.” No. Nyet. Nein. It’s not “Ring of Glowing Votive Candles,” nor “Ring of Fairy Dust.” And she smiles so hard through the whole thing that she actually turns cross-eyed. If I were in that audience, I’d throw a casserole dish of pink macaroni directly at her head.