Coach Beiste
Why: Part of us still thinks there’s redemption for Glee in a Beiste storyline, if for no other reason than how hard Dot Jones brings it every single episode. Maybe she can get a job offer at fake NYADA’s fake football team.
Provisions: A new staff of writers gets hired specifically to create non-infantilizing material for her, and everyone stops obsessing about how she’s able to be a woman and have a stocky build.
Read more: Glee: Characters We Actually Want To See Next Season
Quinn
Why: She’s still perfectly bitchy, after all of these years. Surely Yale has some kind of internship programming or summer course-crossover with New York City, right? At the very least, the writers can make one up so that Quinn can tell us more about her affairs with older professors, occasionally hook up with chicks and just genuinely brighten up every scene.
Provisions: No ridiculously offensive and unnecessary jabs at lesbians.
Read more: Glee: Characters We Actually Want To See Next Season
Rachel
Why: After she lands the Funny Girl lead, Glee has the opportunity to screw up Broadway so horribly, it may very well be Season 1 of Smash all over again… the hate-watching potential makes us positively giddy.
Provisions: Homegirl’s got to take a break with the romances for a while (which should be easy enough on the Finn end of things) and focus on her role. We refuse to go through another ten love triangles with her before she actually “makes” it.
Read more: Glee: Characters We Actually Want To See Next Season
The Treatment of Down Syndrome
Glee’s treatment of Becky Jackson can fluctuate between “pretty empowering,” “totally normal, which is great” and “questionably horrifying” (and I still don’t really know what to make of her inner monologue being voiced by Helen Mirren), but last night’s characterization was just plain nasty. Not only was this oftentimes strong young woman with agency horribly infantilized in “Shooting Star” — she was also literally deadly. I don’t buy for a second that Becky lacks the sense not to bring a gun into school, and I’m appalled that the writers chose to take away her strength as a teenager with Down Syndrome in order to martyrize Sue. Even just from a critical angle, this was just plain bad retconning; we’ve learned that Becky knows right from wrong (and when she does choose the “wrong” thing, it’s about her choosing to defy what’s expected of her). More importantly, Glee has actually taken some strides to try to destigmatize her condition, and this pulled the rug out from under that.
Read more: Five Reasons Why This was the Worst Episode of Glee Ever
(Source: -paroxysm)
I am embarrassed for everyone involved with the crap that follows. It’s another medley, of course, this of ‘N Sync’s “Bye Bye Bye” and The Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way,” but the straight-up singing bits — which are bad enough, because these songs suck — are interspersed with these absolutely asinine fantasy knock-down drag-out brawling bits between the primary assholes concerned, and I just…I can’t…NO. To all of it. Just: NO! I mean, we all know from years and years and years of evidence that Frankenteen’s about as graceful as a club-footed moose with the dancing, so who the hell thought it would be a good idea to throw him into a heavily stylized fight sequence? GOD, I hate this show. And it’s a shame, because they’ve rigged up some oversized marionette strings for Dreamboat Blaine, Mr. Schue, and New Puck to play around in for their half of the actual routine, and it seems like they missed a fantastic opportunity to go all-out insane with that idea in favor of…what, exactly? Yet another chance for Cory Monteith to look like a gigantic idiot? Lovely.
- Demian, Glee 4x16 “Feud” Recap
