- Her advice to grown women about their fertility, and her expectation that their sons will want to marry her after five minutes of dating.
- Her irritating refusal to call her father anything but “Michael,” and then never thank him for constantly helping her out in every way.
- Her failed hair model career, and the many more Craigslist scams she’ll eventually fall for that we’ll never see.
- The new puppies she buys and gives away every few months.
Read more: Teen Mom: What We’ll Miss About the Cast
Farrah, Debra, Michael and Sophia
Farrah giving her daughter the five-cent tour of her sexcapades with Derek (whose grave we visited later, in case it’s not already impossibly easy to make me cry) was pretty perfectly in character, as opposed to Farrah actually making a good decision in taking Sophia with her to Florida after all. Debra is clearly the most overbearing parent on MTV, and so watching Sophia slam on piano keys (unbeknownst to her how awesomely dramatic it seemed on camera) and tell her grandma that she won’t miss her was awesome. I still can’t believe Farrah’s dad Michael agreed to make the five-day drive down to Fort Lauderdale alone with all of her crap in tow. And Debra bitterly drinking the Farrah wine easily the best part of the episode. I have never felt so bad for a waiter in my life.
Read more: Teen Mom: The Best Moments from the Season 4 Premiere