Aria, I’ll have you know, spends almost the entire episode in a Big Top Circus Ringleader jacket with black pinstripes, over a monochrome cheetah-print shirt and matching miniskirt, like a hooker would wear. It’s not the most mindblowing shit she’s ever pulled, but the offense you take from each separate part of the outfit is so much more than the sum of its parts. No checks, no balances. Absolute power, everywhere at once, shooting out of each and every fucked-up area of Aria just like the blood of Cousin Heshy. The difference is, Cousin Heshy got better. Aria?

Later, at the charity marathon, girlfriend will have traded out — over an American-flag skull t-shirt, of course — a black cardigan with shoulder pads and sequined patches over the shoulder pads, on trend with that “drum majorette” look that’s so popular these days, but more importantly providing a seamless transition from “Carnival Day” to more of a “Carnival Night” look.

Meanwhile, Emily looks like a hot steaming cup of sex, as usual these days, Hanna’s wearing a classic blue dress from a grownup’s closet and is totally beautiful of course, and Spencer is wearing… voluminous emerald pleated old-lady pants like you would wear to cover your stilts, if you were in the Aria Circus. So, half of us are doing okay.

- Jacob Clifton, Pretty Little Liars 3-14 “She’s Better Now” Recap