Serena: “I know this might be hard, but I’m going to stay on you until I get what I want. Blair, for the first time since you almost died months ago and lost your damn mind, I’m going to ask you to tell me what is going on.”

Blair: “Okay, well, I thought Chuck was going to die because he was in a coma, so I just completely ignored the unimportant fact that I had miscarried — since that has zero effect on a woman, physically speaking — and dragged my ass to the hospital chapel to make a solemn vow that I would marry Louis and never sleep with Chuck again if he would just wake up.”

Serena: “That is severely fucked up, but do go on. What happened next?”

Blair: “He woke up. Like right then. So I went to his hospital room and apologized for breaking up with him, and I’ve been going slowly insane ever since.”

- Jacob Clifton,Gossip Girl 5-9 “The End of the Affair?” Recap